people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
you win again, gameday.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Randomize
