I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
