You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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