perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
