East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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