I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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