I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
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All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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