If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
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