apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
