The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
