So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
