So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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