Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
