He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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