Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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