You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Panties = found
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
