what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
