why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
