yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
