Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
