okay pat passed out under dana's car
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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