Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
