I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
