Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
