big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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