Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
lol hangovers are for mortals.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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