This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
