My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
