On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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