You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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