dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
what day is it and did you see me today?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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