..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
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