just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
my poor anus
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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