i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
