i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize