i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Randomize
