I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize