every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
