I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
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