sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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