He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
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As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
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WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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