Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I hate all girls vehemently.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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