so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
