Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
