we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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