your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
