It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
