You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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