she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I came so hard my ears popped.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
