not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
How's work?
Spinning.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
