My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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