I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
its not stalking. its research.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
