I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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