i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
