shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
