There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She swung at the pinata with crutches
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pee around me
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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