im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Randomize
