I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
