Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
