Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
