I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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